Big Feelings, Big Play: Using the Power of Play to Support Behavior and Emotional Growth in Early Childhood

In early childhood, behavior is often the language children use when they don’t yet have the words to express their needs, feelings, or frustrations. As educators, caregivers, and mental health professionals, we know that challenging behaviors are often signs of lagging skills, not defiance. So, how do we support children in building these vital skills?

The answer lies in one of the most powerful tools we have: PLAY.

Why Play Supports Social-Emotional Learning

Play is where children naturally explore emotions, test boundaries, and practice interactions. It is a safe space to make mistakes, try again, and experience cause and effect in real-time. Through guided, supported play, we can help children build:

• Self-awareness (“How am I feeling?”)
• Self-regulation (“What can I do with this feeling?”)
• Social awareness (“How is my friend feeling?”)
• Relationship skills (sharing, turn-taking, collaborating)
• Responsible decision-making (problem-solving, making amends)

Play Strategies to Address Challenging Behavior:

Here are a few practical ways to use play to support behavior and emotional growth:

1. Emotion Charades or Puppets

Use puppets or dolls to act out scenarios involving frustration, waiting, or sharing. Invite children to help solve problems or “teach” the puppet what to do next.

2. Calming Corners as Play Spaces

Create cozy spaces with sensory tools, books about feelings, and emotion visuals. Let children “practice” calming skills during play, not just during meltdown moments.

3. Dramatic Play with a Purpose

Turn your play kitchen, doctor’s office, or animal clinic into a space for children to role-play social scenarios, try on different perspectives, and process experiences.

4. Storytelling and Social Stories

Use books and storytelling to explore feelings and consequences. Ask reflective questions like: “What could the character do next?” or “How would you feel if that happened to you?”

5. Play-Based Problem Solving

When conflicts arise, invite children to re-enact what happened with toys and figures. This allows emotional processing and rehearsal of new strategies in a safe way.

Reframing Behavior: From Control to Connection

It can be tempting to jump to correction or consequences when behaviors are disruptive, but play offers an opportunity to understand why the behavior is happening.

Instead of asking, “How do I stop this behavior?,” ask:

• “What is this child trying to communicate?”
• “What skills are they still developing?”
• “How can I use play to meet the need behind the behavior?”

Final Thoughts: Play is a Behavior Support Strategy

As an Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Consultant, I’ve seen time and again how the power of play can transform classrooms. When we prioritize connection, model emotional literacy, and embed social-emotional learning into playful experiences, we’re not just addressing behavior; we’re helping children build lifelong skills for relationships, regulation, and resilience.

Let’s trust the process. Let’s follow the play. And let’s meet behavior with empathy, curiosity, and care.  

—Carolyn Feinberg, M.Ed.
Infant Early Childhood Mental Health Consultant (IECMHC)